Why Does My Mom Hate Me? An Open Prayer to the Mother Who Said She Hates Me

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You may be familiar with the philosophical statement that a child's greatest obstacle is the unlived life of their parents. Then at like 13 she gave me the book flowers in the attick about Insest and the crazy grandmother who locked up the kids. Still every few months or so she will crawl out of her miserable hole and try to suck me into her latest drama, the most recent being yesterday.

She asked for the camera and I gave it to her. Just like if we would observe a human appearing robot, we would never get the mechanical electrical reality of the walking computer, because we aren't dead enough to fathom it. And this kind of sickness followed me my whole life to where now I still have nightmears that my father and brother are chasing me.

Why Does My Mother Hate Me?

The child I love so much and sacrificed for in so many ways now hates me. How dare you speak to me that way. When you take it personally, it often leads to a big emotional reaction from you which reinforces the bad behavior. Not being able to handle his problems leads your child to feelings of discomfort—and pushing your buttons and getting a strong emotional reaction from why my mother hates me helps to make up for those feelings of discomfort. Some kids also say hurtful things as a means of trying to get what they want. If they can hurt you, you might feel bad or doubt yourself and then give in. In other words, they think that if they perceive someone as being mean or if they see something as being unfair, that makes it okay to be hurtful towards the offender. While an emotional reaction is a very natural thing, it often leads to ineffective choices. It also models ineffective problem solving for your child. In other words, it shows your child that the way to handle verbal attacks is to launch a verbal counterattack. Leave the cursing and name—calling out, too. You will show your child why my mother hates me you are not in control emotionally, that you are his emotional peer, and again, you are modeling ineffective ways to solve problems or conflicts with others. Do you really want to do that. Try to choose other words instead. Over-the-top punishments will not teach your child the skills he needs to manage himself more effectively in the future to not say hurtful things to others. Consequences do not always speak for themselves. What You Can Do When Your Child Says Hurtful Things Okay, we know what not to do and what to avoid when our kids say hurtful things. But is there anything we can do. Be Aware of Your Nonverbal Communication Non—verbal cues such as tone, volume, facial expression, body positioning, and the pace of your words are extremely powerful in communication with others. Non—verbal communication or body language can have a huge impact on how your message is interpreted. Try to avoid crossing your arms, putting your hands on your hips, rolling your eyes, or talking at a fast pace, for example. Keep your facial expressions as neutral as possible. The goal here is to be assertive, not aggressive. Walking away shows that you are in control and that you have the authority in the situation. With most kids, staying calm, gently challenging them, and setting clear limits walking away is enough to gradually decrease the behavior over time. Picking your battles will be very important, as will not giving in to your child and not giving him what he wants when he speaks to you this way. If you feel you must do more to address this issue in your home, you can certainly add some problem—solving discussions once things cool off to help your child develop the skills to solve his problems in a more effective way. Give It Time Will following these suggestions be easy. Yes, but it might take some time for both you and your child to make the necessary adjustments. Also, I know that following these suggestions may make you feel that you are letting your child get away with disrespectful behavior. But these suggestions will help you stay in control, role model positive self—management skills, and set clear limits with your kids. Your actions will show that their behavior is not okay.

Interesting perspective and it is useful to pause for thought and consider that yes, my mother is only human even though when I was growing up she was the bees knees and could do no wrong. Like I said, it was very hard. I am relieved to see my mother go. But since the person they are returning to is incapable of connecting emotionally, the kids always end up hurt and disappointed. I tell her she looks so funny when she's mad! But when I ask for the camera back she said she did not have it and I did not give it to her. Now they might think that I am a irresponsible person. You may be familiar with the philosophical statement that a child's greatest obstacle is the unlived life of their parents. The life scarring sound of profanity that jumped off my mother tongue, and onto the mask that I often wore as a face.